1/8/13 Shopaholism & Strippers

I've realized quite quickly I only get the urge to buy something when I feel unhappy. Since the beginning of the year I've felt unhappy twice and both times I have found myself, almost unconsciously, browsing my favorite shopping websites look for a pick-me-up. This morning I have been downright morose and I have already almost bought an Elie Tahari blouse. I talked myself out of it, but the window is still open in tab of my browser as I type.

I need to feel happier if I am to stop shopping altogether, or I need to find a better way to pick myself up.

In case you are dying of curiosity, the big weight on my shoulders this morning is whether or not I should attend my friend, N-'s, birthday party - at a female strip club. As a feminist do I want to financially support such a distasteful occupation by paying a cover fee and buying drinks at a strip club establishment? No. Do I appreciate the fact that women sell their sexuality to male audiences for large sums of money, perpetuating society's fascination with the sexual objectification of women? Definitely not. Do I want to rub shoulders with men who have girlfriends and wives sitting at home while they get eye candy pleasure elsewhere? Gag me. But should I make assumptions about strip clubs without ever having been to one in order to make my own conclusion? Probably not. Would a young straight female attending a female strip club challenge the concepts of male dominance and female subordination in such environments? Sure. So it seems like I should go.

But then the question arises: Should I bring TBF? Given the fact that he has been to one before and enjoyed himself immensely, my answer is a resounding "NO! That won't make me feel good!" But part of me whispers: "Maybe I should bring him along and consider it a trust-building exercise, since I have such horrible trust in men due to past experiences." And then the other part of me shouts, "But no man is a gentleman around a stripper!" And the other part whispers back, "Maybe he will be the exception." And the other part screams: "Man is a man is a man is a man." (Comme Gertrude Stein's famous quotation.) And "Your money will go to the strippers in exchange for a glimpse of the sexual objectification misogynists love; TBF's already gotten a glimpse of it. His money and presence would be supporting, not challenging the establishment." And back and forth and back again the internal dialogue continues.

And all I want to do is buy that Tahari blouse to make myself feel better (or the Michael Kors bag below - how cute!) because I'm utterly befuddled and shopping is one thing that is always so straight-forward and reliable.

But I'm being good... Ugh.

XOXO
Stripper-wary Shawna