I am starting to get SERIOUS cold feet about this whole experience. Part of me is thinking: I'll never be able to do it. Maybe I should amend the rules to shopping once a month instead not at all for an entire year (with two free passes). How am I going to keep myself occupied and control my shopping urges completely? OMG!

Yeah, I'm freaking out but I'm trying to ignore it. After all, I have publicized my blog to enough coworkers and family members that going back on my word would be a shameful, shameful thing.

According to the rules I have until the end of December to do any shopping I may want to do but because my credit card was cancelled due to a fraudulent charge, I am thinking I should let myself have a week after I get my card in the mail to do any last minute shopping. I don't know. Is that bad? I'm on the fence. I will decide when I get the card I guess, depending on my mental state at that time!

In any case, another part of my resolution through Willpower and Window Shopping is that I will buy no material objects, instead spending the time and money I previously spent shopping on new activities, interests, and experiences.

It isn't even 2013 yet, but TBF and I already have so many fantastic plans for this weekend and the New Year that I wanted to share. Maybe it will leave me feeling more optimistic.

We are going to, in no particular order:
A Hornblower dinner/dance in Sacramento
New Year's Eve on the SS Jeremiah O'Brien in SF
The Lion King Musical in SF
2 comedy shows
2 Giants games in SF (One is against the Nationals - Jayson Werth!)
2 fancy schmancy dinners
Yoshii's Jazz Club in SF
Monterey Jazz Festival in Berkeley
Teance tea house in Berkeley
Professional Bull Riding in Sacramento
Monster Jam in Sacramento
Haggin Museum in Stockton
SF MOMA
Pier 39's Aquarium of the Bay
...with even more events being planned every day.

Not too shabby, right? That did leave me feeling quite optimistic.

XOXO
Shopaholic Shawna

P.S. I this morning I bought a polka dot Tahari dress and matching black jacket, a hot pink Lucy love dress, and a pink and black Suzy Chin dress. Two out of three can be considered business friendly, so I thought they were worthwhile buys.

Ah, the financial burden associated with driving tickets. I got my very first of all time driving on the freeway near Oakland in the fall of this year. Instead of letting me off nicely because of my clean driving record and the fact that it would be my first ticket, Mr. CHP gave me three citations. I really lucked out with that guy... I may have deserved to be pulled over, but three citations on one ticket? To this day I am convinced Mr. CHP looked at my BMW and Burberry bag and just figured I was wealthy and would be able to pay. He probably though cha-ching! My quota for the week has just been met. Time for a donut.

Unfortunately, I have to pay this ticket mid-January so it has been weighing heavily on my mind. As mentioned in previous posts, my finances could be in much better shape, so deciding how to deal with this ticket is stressful. Either I pay $1100 bail money and have the opportunity to fight the ticket via trial by written declaration, then in court with a trial de novo if the first attempt does not go in my favor... Or I pay the $700 to do driving school, which is an additional fee, and I hope that all or most of the points associated with the one driving ticket are expunged from my record.

If I pay the $1100, I am wiping out basically all of the money I have. If I pay the $700, I still have some savings - but not a lot.

It's a gamble, really, and a game of luck. If I pay $1100 to take the ticket to court and meet a lenient and understanding judge, my citations or fees may be reduced. But they also might not. In which case I would be out the extra $400, perhaps the opportunity to do traffic school, let alone the money I would have made at work instead of missing the day(s) to be in court.

Part of me wants to stick it to the CHP officer and make him suffer as much as possible for the ticket. Mr. CHP, write a letter to court on your own time without pay. Show up after doing a double shift - I don't care if you get paid overtime or not, that's a hassle and I want you to feel that hassle. Part of me wants to stick it to the court system, as well. The clerks I have spoken to over the phone have been so abrupt and rude. Make them have extra work. Make the whole system suffer. My tax payer dollars pay for their salaries - just so they can issue me tickets that take more than one paycheck to pay off, just so they can charge me a "one time fee" to start a payment plan through the court system because I can't necessarily afford to pay it in one lump sum.

Alas, I am a poor woman. If I had money, I would totally take the ticket to court, just on the principle of the matter. However, gambling on the $400 difference, as well as the chance that my right to driving school might be taken away, meaning my insurance premiums would go up, in addition to gambling on the money I would lose by being in court and not at work - I can't do it. Financially, I'm not in a position to make that sort of gamble right now. Only the rich can gamble, and I am not rich.

So, Mr. CHP, you lucked out this time. I hope to never get another ticket in my lifetime, but if I do - expect me to put up a hell of a fight.

In the meantime, I am going to try to be gracious and zen about this whole experience. I will try to think that maybe by making me paranoid about driving, you have saved my life from an accident in the future. I will try to think that you were doing your job, and if a man could do such a fine job in writing tickets you must do an equally good job saving lives. I will try to think that all of the contests I have won since receiving that ticket have been the universe and karma trying to balance out my finances and lighten my mood.

I will try to be gracious and understanding and zen. With willpower.

XOXO
Slow-driving Shawna

I have four pieces of good news today.

1. I worked, even though it was a holiday at work. Financially responsible? I would say so.

2. I got a mani&pedi for New Year's Eve - but in doing so I had my acrylic nails removed. Part of living simply means in the year to come I will get only regular manicures. I'm enjoying the change!

3. I didn't buy anything in the day-after-Christmas sales - even though I was tempted twice.

4. My friend H- said I inspired her to start a blog for 2013 as well. Where mine is about living minimally in terms of objects and richly in terms of experiences and more focused on finances, her blog is to be about stepping outside her comfort zone at least once every week. I am so excited to follow her on her adventures! As I told her - two friends, two coasts, two New Year's pledges.

XOXO
Satisfied Shawna

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Christmas is wrapping up and I am sitting here reflecting on what a wonderful life I have been blessed to live. My holidays have been filled with such a plenitude of family, friends, food, gifts, and entertainment. I was able to take my sister to The Crest Theatre in SF to watch The Fraggles and Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas (and to meet famed puppeteer Dave Goelz!) on the 22nd and my mom to see The Nutcracker at Paramount Theatre in Oakland on the 23rd - both with tickets I had won in amazing good fortune thanks to SF Weekly and The Institute on Aging.

On the 24th I was able to meet with a long time best friend, H-, who lives on the East Coast and who I miss very, very much. To see her and catch up was very precious to me, and with the money I save this coming year with Willpower and Window Shopping I hope buy a plane ticket to visit her in her new home. Later that evening, as a family we went to see 'Twas The Night at The Davies Symphony Hall in SF, which was a fun performance filled with instrumentals, choral arrangements, and singalongs. Lisa Vroman was a beautiful and gracious hostess and Robert Huw Morgan gave an outstanding performance on the organ. That evening we spent with my extended family, doing our annual White Elephant gift exchange. Sadly, no one thought to bring size XL lacy granny panties again this year. However, we were the recipients of wonderful news: Cousin V- just got engaged! Congratulations!!

Since this blog does have to do with shopping, I'd like to share a photo of the beautiful Vittadini flats I wore on Christmas Eve:

As for gifts, all I had wanted was a pair of new jeans and a nice leather bag, and TBF got me Hudson's, and my parents got me a Coach handbag. And it didn't stop there. More notable gifts include the quilt my mom made and the orchestra seats to see The Lion King TBF got us. I am really, truly, so blessed.

Christmas Day we woke up early and headed to the city to volunteer with The Salvation Army for their Christmas Day Meal Delivery. We were part of the 9 A.M. shift and delivered 33 meals, mainly to home-bound seniors. It was such a simple duty, but my heart swelled when an old woman named S- blew us huge, smacking kisses from her door. This may have been my greatest gift - being able to share my time and energy and blessings with others. As a family we hope to make this a tradition.

So here I sit, thinking over the holiday season, so happy and yet reminiscent in a way twinged with sadness. How different this holiday has been from the last. A chapter in my life is well and truly over, and a new one has begun. I know this one will be quiet, filled with creeping love and gentle humor, the efforts of kindness, generosity, gratitude - for they don't always come naturally, small and large successes, adventures, understanding, maybe even a little enlightenment. As hard as it is to let go of the past, with a future so bright and a mindset so filled with hope and optimism, I look forward to the New Year and all that it will bring.

XOXO
Santa Shawna

P.S. I saw Les Miserables today - IT IS PHENOMENAL. I highly recommend it.

P.P.S. I made one purchase the entire weekend from Urban Outfitters, about $55. I will most likely struggle not to spend exorbitant amounts of money during the after Christmas sales.

Willpower and Window Shopping 2013 Rules:

1. For an entire year I will not purchase a single thing that I do not need. This means that I will not buy a shirt or a dress or a jacket or a scarf or a pair of jeans or a sweater or a bag or a pair of gloves or a piece of jewelry or a pair of shoes or a swimsuit or a hat or socks (maybe) or even underwear (maybe). The only two items that I actually may need are pantyhose, because I always rip holes in them, and business attire - since, really, when is the last time I wore or purchased business attire. If I attend a very special occasion that may require a new outfit, purchasing may also be admitted.

2. I won't buy lip gloss or lipstick or foundation or eyeliner or mascara or lotion until every last cosmetic product in those categories and more has been used and/or tossed.

3. I won't buy CDs or DVDs. I will buy books but only after I have read all of the books I already own. (I just bought an armful of books at the SPCA Thrift Store yesterday - for 50 cents each! So excited to read them over the holidays.)

4. In fact, really, the only material items I am allowed to purchase will be necessary, such as cat food and litter for Admiral Snuggles and medicine and toiletries (God forbid I go without deodorant for an entire year) and gifts for others for special occasions and food/drinks (God forbid I go a year without buying a bottle of wine, too).

5. The majority of every paycheck is to go 50/50 toward savings and my credit card. Once my credit card is just about paid off, the majority of every paycheck is to go toward savings and whatever other investment I choose to open at that time.

6. Pocket money is only to be spent on experiences and events. Instead of buying items, my goal is to spend money on buying memories, such as concerts, dinners, festivals, wine tastings, traveling, etc.

7. I hereby grant myself TWO and only TWO shopping days to use under the most dire of circumstances. When there is a killer sale I cannot miss, or when there is an item I am absolutely dying to own, or if I have a monumental slip in willpower, I will use the shopping days. However, I am absolutely not allowed to take out any money from my savings or investments to shop. I must use only whatever pocket money I have on hand... Which may not be a lot, so I am also allowed to spend at most 1/3 of my credit card limit. Which is to be promptly paid off immediately following the shopping spree with the next paycheck.

Sounds reasonable, right?

XOXO
Shopaholic Shawna

P.S. I didn't buy anything today. Yesterday I bought tickets for TBF and I to go to the aquarium ($18), but that isn't a material object so I obeyed my rules - yay! I bought those books mentioned above, too, but I spent around $8 for 14 books, so I'd say that's a steal. Doing much better already!

Whenever I think about the holly jolly holiday season and my family's impending gift exchange, I am reminded of the families affected by the horrific shooting last Friday at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut. The parents of twenty little boys and girls had done their holiday shopping for little frilly white socks and Power Ranger pajamas and had made their holiday plans - vacations, staycations, volunteer work, family time over board games and sports games and hot cocoa with sprinkles. And all of that was snatched away in mere minutes. I want to express my deepest sympathy and sorry for the losses of these bright younglings and the brave women who died trying to protect their charges. My thoughts and prayers are with their families and friends.

I want my blog to touch not just on the vapid shoes-and-purses consumerism that I struggle with, and the smart monetary choices young 20-something-year-olds should make that I will attempt to learn and implement. I don't want my blog to be merely a compilation of event and product reviews or a journal where I document my year in recovery from shopping. I also want my blog to touch on different types of consumerism and current events, and be a place where I can share my opinions and commentary of society at large.

After the Newton tragedy, I'd like to write a short opinion piece on the connection between the media and consumerism of weapons and other objects associated with violence. The struggle for gun control over the last decade or so, and where I'd like to see us go from here. This is going to take some time and research, because I don't want to just throw out my opinions without sources and hard evidence. So be patient. It's coming. Long story short, though, as a daughter and a sister and as a woman who hopes to be a mother one day with children of my own to protect, I strongly believe that our society's infatuation with guns and violence needs to be rethought. An armed nation is not a civilized one, especially when our children are being killed in schools with legal weapons.

With a heavy heart,
Shawna

Monday I didn't buy anything. Tuesday I didn't buy anything. I only spent money on food. (Really, I should be trying to get into the habit of bringing food from home for lunch and cooking dinners, but that's a challenge for another day.) Today is Wednesday, though, and I caved and bought myself a darling duvet set from Urban Outfitters. It was on sale?

Also I returned the leather boots and Kate Spade sandals mentioned in a previous post...  So really I'd say I'm starting to already be a little better.

It isn't the Willpower and Window Shopping New Year yet, so no judging!

XOXO
Shopaholic Shawna

I have been ping ponging between trying to buy everything possible so I won't be "in need" next year (i.e. I am convinced I need a new pair of jeans and a nice leather bag) and trying to hold myself back from shopping as much as possible as a way to ease into the New Year of Willpower and Window Shopping.

Over the weekend I did end up spending money on some necessary items (like food and a scarf for my office's white elephant exchange) as well as on some unnecessary items such as a Hello Kitty gingerbread house kit and some fun things I found at a thrift store in SF (a funky sweater, a couple DVDs, a gift for TBF's roommate, a couple children's picture books, some Santa mugs...) So I kind of failed, but I spent a lot less money than usual. And I told myself out loud several times to put items down. So there has been some improvement! I am going to try to spend only $40 until the end of the week, so I will let you know how that goes. Hopefully I will be fine since I have no big plans set for the week.

Oh, and TBF got me a pair of Hudson's for Christmas, so I put a mental check mark next to that "need" in my head...

XOXO
Shopaholic Shawna

It's the peak of holiday consumerism. Credit cards are being swiped until they are out of funds and new ones need to be opened. Savings accounts are being depleted. People are scrambling about shopping for presents for others and themselves. Some people, like me, are such great shoppers they're already done. I've been done for weeks. I love spending money. All the spending I do on gifts right now is in excess of what I should be giving.

But really, what is the point of it all? Humans need so very little to survive. Food, water, warmth, shelter, love. Nowhere in there is the need for an iPhone, Burberry bag, or Salvatore Ferragamo perfume. We can't bring it with us when we die, and by the time we do die our stuff will probably be so out of fashion our offspring won't want any of it.

We as a society work so hard, spending precious moments of our lives, all so we can afford the next best thing on the market. A new house, a new car, a new pair of shoes or camera or phone. If that money was saved and spent on experiences versus material objects, imagine the places we could go. The concerts we could attend. The gifts we could give. The lives we could change.

So here I am, this awful, awful shopaholic (I just bought 4 pairs of Pour La Victoire heels and a Loquita tote this morning. I couldn't help myself. I'm so bad.) - with an idea. I'm going to challenge myself to not shop for a single material object in the year 2013. There will be rules of course. I can purchase necessary objects like pet food, toiletries and car tires. I'll allow myself to buy gifts and cards for others for special occasions. I'll even give myself 2 shop-and-enjoy cards to use in emergency situations when there's a killer sale or an item I feel my soul literally dying over. I'll have to ponder over these and will post them in a following entry.

You may think giving myself some lee-way is cheating but let me give you some context. I graduated from UC Davis in December of 2011. It has been a full year that I have been working full-time, and as all newly employed no-longer-poor-students do, I went crazy over the money. I have bought every little thing my heart has desired, and more. I encountered some heartbreak over the past year and shopping switched from being a pleasure to a method of treatment. It's turned from being a thrill to a habit, a treat to a necessity. I really have become addicted to shopping, just like many people in recovery become dependent on their treatments. I have very little savings (thanks in part to an awful, awful driving ticket I got) and my credit card isn't paid off - but I do make monthly payments. I should have a substantial amount of savings, and I should have my credit card paid off. So, with this challenge I don't intend to turn into a hippie who eats only home made food or gives hand made gifts, avoiding consumerism and popular culture like the plague. This exercise is more about weaning myself off of this society's consumerist appetites and learning how to save money rather than spend it. It's about living minimally in terms of objects and richly in terms of experiences. Finding happiness in small day-to-day happenings, not day-to-day deliveries from my favorite online stores.

You already know what I bought today. Yesterday I spent $90 at Target on food and decorations for the holiday party The BoyFriend and I are throwing this week. I also bought myself some Joe's jeans. The day before that I bought myself some Kate Spade sandals. Over the weekend I bought hairspray because I forgot mine at home and was going to TBF's holiday party. I bought myself a pair of leather boots and a pair of Betsey Johnson wedges last week. Three days before that I bought a reindeer costume for my cat, a Christmas sweater for my dog, and yet another gift for my boyfriend - all from Target. The day before that I bought a Christmas tree hat that lights up and a book from Evangeline's. The week before that I spent around $200 on Black Friday shopping and a gift for my mom. Aside from the food and gifts, was any of that even necessary? NO. Just listing it all makes my stomach churn.

This is an intervention, from myself for myself. Overall it will be a year of willpower and window shopping. It'll be rough, but I think I'll learn a lot from the experience, will develop my willpower and happiness in healthier ways, will be better off financially, and will spend less money on objects and more money on great experiences.

XOXO
Shopaholic Shawna